R is for Ruby Ellen Yeakley, my mom

Ruby Ellen Yeakley is my mom. It is at this point I say I miss her as much today as I did when she passed away 15 years ago. I can't believe it's been that long and I have so much to tell her. I know and truly believe that I will have that chance someday. She probably already knows. She always did. 

My grandfather took this picture of my mother. 

I had the best parents anyone could ask for. I was truly blessed and my brother likes to say that we were disadvantaged children because our parents weren't divorced, didn't drink or smoke, and were Christian people who lived their faith. 

My mom was born in Wichita Falls, Texas on January 12, 1918. That's easy for me to remember because I used to tell her she was born in 1819, at which point she would always tell me that she wasn't quite that old. 

My mother loved to sing and was always humming some tune, mostly hymns. She also played the piano but not as well as I did so it was another point where I got to tell her that I was better. However, not once did I ever beat her at jacks. Even at 80, she still beat me. She was good!

In my opinion, my mother was an overachiever but then, I'm a slacker so it might not be a good comparison. She went to college and got a degree in Library Science. While in college, her mother died and she took her grade school sister to college with her and took care of her so her dad could continue working. He was a minister and a printer and caring for his 12 year old daughter would have been hard for him. I have a lot of the letters he wrote to them and she wrote to him. They were home for the summer and holidays and when my mom graduated, Lola Mae was old enough to stay at home with her older brother who was 16 while my grandfather worked. 

My mom was an independent woman and did what she wanted. I don't know that I would have had the nerve to travel to New York City alone and spend a couple of weeks there exploring on my own. 

She met my dad during World War II at the USO at their church in Wichita Falls. She then took a job in Denver, Colorado at the public library and my dad traveled there to see her. They were married in 1947 in Los Angeles. My dad didn't meet her parents as both of them were gone when they met. 

Christmas Day, 1947, Denver, Colorado

My mom was the Children's Librarian at the Covina Public Library when I was small. She moved to the Monrovia Public Library when I was in grade school. When I started Junior High, she was the librarian at La Puente High School and when I started high school, she setup the new library at Rowland High School. While I was in high school, she went back to college and got a Master's Degree. She never stopped learning.

What I miss the most is the sharing. My mother was smart, full of wisdom and my best friend. 

O is for Obituary

In this very technical world, some of the best resources are being lost. One is the art of the obituary. Newspapers have all but disappeared and with them, the daily notice of who died and when. I can't remember how long ago it was that I subscribed to a newspaper.

When my mom died, there was no notice in the paper. When my dad died, there wasn't one either, the family was notified by telephone. At least, they were not texted which I think would have been disrespectful.

Obituaries used to mean something. It told the world that someone important to someone had passed away. Even if it was in a small newspaper, people read them. If they knew the person, they somehow made contact with the rest of the family to offer their condolences. Today, on facebook, a "sorry" is offered. Please forgive me, I am guilty of doing that once and should have sent a card or made a call.

For those researching family history, it is more disturbing. The obituary told us a little about the person; who they were, what they did. It sometimes told us how they died. It gave us family members. It told us time and place. Those facts are hard to come by. Oh, we get date and place and sometime cause of death and occupation but it is all very impersonal.

My mom died on May 8, 1998. She died in Perris, California. She was retired. She died of a heart attack. That doesn't begin to tell us who she was and she was so much more. On the other hand, here's what the obituary for my grandfather read:

Death Claims E. M. Yeakley/Veteran Printer, Preacher here since 1911

Reverend Ernest M. Yeakley, 56, veteran Wichita Falls printer and Baptist minister, died Monday night about 10:30 o'clock at a Wichita Falls hospital. Yeakley, who came to Wichita Falls in 1911 went to the hospital a few days ago suffering from a paralytic condition. A heart attack was the cause of his sudden death Monday night. Yeakley had worked on newspapers in many Texas towns. He was one of the first printer employed by the Times Publishing Company after its institution in Wichita Falls. In recent years he was employed in newspapers in Gainesville and Sherman. He held pastorates in Baptist churches in dundee, Black Flat, and Kamay within the last few years, being the minister at the Kamay Baptist Church in 1937 and 1938. Yeakley , who made his home at 1317 Eighteenth, survived his wife by approximately five years. He had been employed at the Buchanan Stationery Company as a printer for almost a year. Survivors include five sons, Lee M. Yeakley, Wichita Falls, Noel Yeakley, Dickens, Texas, Don Yeakley, Houston, J. D. Yeakley, San Diego, Calif, Pvt. Eugene Yeakley, Denver, Colo; three daughters, Mrs M.E. Edmonds, Houston and Misses Ruby and Lola Mae Yeakley, both of Wichita Falls; one brother, Lynn Yeakley, Gainesville; two sisters, Mrs. Nola King, Gainesville, and Mrs. Jennie Riley, Gainesville, and 12 grandchildren. Funeral arrangements in charge of Owens and Brumley Funeral Home are incomplete awaiting word for the sons at Denver and San Diego.

There was also a picture that put a face to the name.

Today, the closest thing we have is Find A Grave. I was remiss as I sponsor my mother's site and hadn't added a bio. After writing this, I went to the site and updated the information. I have others yet to do. I want everyone to know they were important. 

M is for Lola Mae Yeakley - Aunt Lola

"L" was taken for Uncle Lee. We always used her middle name with the first name so technically, I can use the "M" for her.

Lola Mae Yeakley, the youngest child of Ernest Marvin Yeakley and Nancy Ellen Jones.

Wichita Falls High School

Her timeline on Ancestry.com reads like this:

Birth

1926  Wichita Falls, Wichita, Texas United States

11 Apr

1930  Residence

Age 4  Wichita Falls, Wichita, Texas

1940  Residence

1 Apr   Wichita Falls, Wichita, Texas

1942  Residence

Age 16  Wichita Falls, Texas

1993  Residence

Age 67  Renton, WA

2009  Death

16 Dec  Renton, King, Washington

Age 83

This is what we run into when we start tracking our ancestors. Facts are OK but there was a whole life lived between the sources. Aunt Lola was more than just a list of sources for me. She was a very real person who fell in love, married, had children, and lived life on her own terms. 

Lola Mae was 20 years younger than her oldest brother. There were 6 other children between them and Ellen, my grandmother, was 39 when she was born. She was the baby of the family and was treated as such. She was four when my grandparents had their first grandchildren. Because of the age differences, by the time I was born, most of my cousins had children my age. It was no different for Aunt Lola. Her playmates were her cousins and not her brothers and sisters. 

Ellen died in 1938 when Lola Mae was 12. It was difficult for the family but at that point, the only children at home were Lola May, Gene and my mom, Ruby. My mom was 20 at the time and a college student. 

This was a photo taken at the time of Ellen's death. It is all the kids and my grandfather. Back row: Noel, Don, Marvin (my grandfather), Jay Dee, and Lee. In the front, Eugene, Ruby (my mom), Ruth, and Lola Mae. 

It was decided that Lola Mae would accompany my mother to Denton, Texas and live with her. My mom went to college and Lola Mae attended school the local elementary school. I have several letters my mom wrote to her siblings about how hard it was at times but how much fun the two of them had. Any activities my mother attended, so did Lola Mae. Gene stayed home. He was 15 and attended high school, old enough to fend for himself until his dad got home from work. 

I have to stop here and explain why Aunt Lola's name changes from sentence to sentence. Her siblings never called her anything but Lola Mae. The nieces and nephews called her Aunt Lola so in this narrative, I find it hard to write and call her Lola Mae. To me she will always be Aunt Lola. 

Lola Mae and Ruby moved back home when my mom graduated. Lola Mae finished high school in Wichita Falls. When Lola Mae was 17, she met John Gerald Curtindale. She must have met him at the USO, the same church where my mom met my dad. My mother was not fond of John Gerald Curtindale and didn't want Lola Mae to marry him but Aunt Lola always did what she wanted. For the 50 some years Uncle Johnny and Aunt Lola were married, my mother was always there for them. While I think she never got over the fact that Aunt Lola married him, he was accepted as part of the family. 

Uncle Johnny could be charming but he was not always the nicest of persons. However, Aunt Lola was no fool and they had an interesting life together. 

Johnny was an entrepreneur. I remember when he had a gas station in West Seattle. He always had some invention or business that he was working on. I remember the worm farm on the side of the house. I thought it was gross but he did explain how beneficial the worms were. 

They lived in West Seattle for many years. From the balcony off the back door, you could see the Space Needle and downtown Seattle across the Puget Sound. The home also had a basement where we would stay when we visited. It wasn't exactly finished but did have bedrooms and a bathroom. There was a very large (and I do mean large) holly bush in the front yard. We learned early it was prickly and you didn't want to hide in it. Aunt Lola worked a Boeing for more than 30 years and was often the sole support of the family. She liked her job and it kept her busy. She was also a Weight Watcher Lifetime Member and remained trim for most of her life. She attended church on a regular basis.   

Uncle Johnny and Aunt Lola had two children. We spent a lot of time as children together. They would come to California or we would go to Washington. I still am in touch with my cousin Paul and we are grateful for the relationship. His younger brother Jerry passed away recently. 

My mom holding me, Paul standing in front and Lola Mae holding Jerry. 

John Gerald Curtindale passed away on October 4, 1996 at the age of 79. Aunt Lola outlived him 13 years passing away on December 16, 2009. I can still hear her voice and laugh and I miss her. 

E is for Ernest Oliver Rhea, my dad

I am half Yeakley and half Rhea so how can I do the letters of the alphabet without mentioning the Rhea side? I actually have a blog for the Rhea/McCollum side that has enough information to complete a family history.

One of the more interesting things about families is that spouses become another part of the family and it is hard to separate the two. My dad is a Rhea but after all those years, the distinction between family names blur and he was as much a Yeakley as my mom was a Rhea.

My dad, Ernest Oliver Rhea, was born in Billings, Montana on October 17, 1921. He was the youngest son of William Ogden Rhea and Mellie Farris. The three boys were raised in their earliest years on a farm bordering the Yellowstone River. My dad had lots of stories about living on the farm. When they were in Middle School, the family moved to town. My grandmother was an astute business person and bought land and houses so there was always rent coming in. My guess is that when they had enough money, moving to town suited her better.

My dad on the left and my uncle playing chess (about 1943) in the two story home my grandparents built in town. The upstairs was rented while the family lived in the lower level. That is the place I remember spending summers and holidays.

My dad attended school in Billings. My grandmother was big on education and all three of the boys were pushed to go to college. In 1942, my dad was at Michigan State University studying music. While there, he was also in the Michigan State Orchestra. However, life got in the way and he enlisted in the Army during World War II. His Army career consisted of administering tests for men who wanted to fly. While in the Army, he was stationed in Texas where he met my mother at a USO. Their first encounter was when he taught her to play chess.

They kept in touch and when he left the Army, he went to Colorado where my mother was employed as a Librarian at the Denver Public Library. They were engaged on Christmas Eve 1946. The next year, my dad and mom moved to Los Angeles where they were married on July 4, 1947. My dad had enrolled in USC and was studying accounting. The music career was left behind for a more lucrative profession.

After graduation, they moved to Bakersfield, California where my dad was employed by the Internal Revenue Service. In 1952, there were two big earthquakes in the area that stirred up the dust and released the spores for Valley Fever. It made my dad ill and they decided to move, ending up in La Puente, California.

For several years my dad made the 60 mile drive to Los Angeles for the job at the IRS and then decided to open his own accounting business. He did well and although we weren't rich, we were comfortable.

When he was older, he went back to playing the flute with the church orchestra. 

The love of music that he had as a child was reborn after he retired. My love of music comes from him and I also play the flute. We did duets all the time. 

When he passed away on February 10, 2006, I put the flute away. However, the love of music lives on. I am teaching my 13-yr-old and my husband to play the piano.

52 Ancestors - Week 3 - Nancy Ellen (Jones) Yeakley

Nancy Ellen Jones, or Ellen as she was called, was my grandmother. She died in 1938 at the age of 50. That was 11 years before I was born and I feel cheated. She was a loving person who raised eight children who, even as adults, couldn't wait to spend time together. Family gatherings were always fun and there was never any drama.

My mother passed away on May 8, 1998, two days before Mother's Day. It was difficult without her on that Mother's Day as it has been for the past 15 years. However, we celebrate that day because for 60 years my mother missed her mother and I am quite certain that there was a joyous celebration when they were reunited.

Nancy Ellen Jones was born on December 26, 1887. She was a twin and Allen Augustus Jones outlived his sister by 19 years. One of eight children, they lived in Archer City, Texas where many of her sibling remained. On December 29, 1905, she married Ernest Marvin Yeakley, leaving Archer City for Wichita Falls, Texas.

Ellen loved being outside working in her garden. For a family of eight and a husband as a minister, she was frugal. My mom said she never realized they were poor. Later when my grandfather also worked as a printer and photographer, they had a little more money but Ellen always found enough. She didn't make a big mark on the world except to raise the children to be good citizens. All of the children went to school, six of them to college. They were a musical family and all of them played an instrument or the piano. Even as adults, when they were together, singing was a favorite pastime.One of my uncles had a heart attack, at age 80, on his way to sing at the "old folks home". Clearly, he didn't count himself as one.

This was my grandfather's favorite photo of Ellen. It was a picture he took showing that even at rest, she was always busy doing handwork.

Photo was taken by my grandfather. He said that Ellen looked so peaceful and he wanted to keep the image. As a child, I thought the picture was creepy but given the spirit in which it was taken, I understand his need to keep his wife with him.

Ellen passed away on June 28, 1938. She died in my mother's arms in the garden she loved. For 60 years, my mom missed her mother but I believe that Ellen's quiet faith sustained her for those years knowing that they would be together again.

52 ancestors - Week 2 - Ernest Marvin Yeakley and faith

We are having an ongoing discussion with our 12-yr-old grandson about his belief in God. All believers, at one time or another, question their beliefs. This discussion is totally acceptable because we are all given free will. Fortunately for me, my mother questioned her belief too and I have the letter her father sent to her in response.

Ernest Marvin Yeakley was a printer, photographer, and preacher. His advice to my mother is timeless and I transcribed his letter here. This has also added to the discussion we are having about beliefs. Whatever my grandson decides is up to him but what my grandfather had to say a long time ago resonates today.

Going through my mother's papers, I found a note about the letter. It had to have been written before she passed away in 1998. She'd shared the letter with me when I was a teenager and questioning my faith but it was nice to find the story in writing.

Here's what my mom had to say:
"When I was in college, I began to doubt my salvation especially as I attended philosophy classes where we studied all the great theories of the world. I wrote to my father and expressed this doubt and whether or not God might be calling me to some special service. On his way to work on April 24, 1940, he stopped at a hotel downtown, wrote me the following letter and sent it Special Delivery - Air Mail."

"Dear Ruby,

You are not the first person, even in our own family, to have the feeling you express.

I have wondered, as I have observed this condition through the rears, if the key to the situation does not add up to about this:

People who confess Christ at an early age and join the church do not have the weight of actual sins to be repented for and relieved of, hence do no t have the deep highly emotional experience of grace that those who find peach in Christ after years if willful sin.

Later, having served more as a matter of habit, perhaps, that of duty impelled by the love of Christ, which Paul said "constrainteth us" to go in his service, we begin to wonder whether or not our foundation experience is secure. Get this straight and depend and rely on God's Word, rather than on your feelings and personal analysis of the situation:

FOUR SIGN-POSTS ON THE WAY HOME

1. Our Salvation rests upon God's love for a lost world. John 3:16
2. There is no work to do beyond believing in Christ. John 6:28,29  John 1:11-13
3. This belief (trust) must be expressed openly. John 12:, 42,43
4. The complete promise. Rom 10:10

DO NOT jump to the conclusion that you CANNOT satisfy the Lord's demands upon you without undertaking some kind of SPECIAL WORK in the Kingdom. What the Lord NEEDS right now WORST OF ALL is a great host of consecrated folks to LIVE for him every day in an unassuming , quiet fashion (as your Mother did).

WHAT YOU NEED NOW is likely NOT salvation, but to definitely commit yourself to the WILL of the Lord for your life, giving Him the FIRST PLACE in your life plans- CONSECRATION for the unfailing of the Spirit. INVITE Him in for leadership.Luke 11:11-13

Must hurry to work

Your Dad"

Two things strike me:.
My grandfather wrote with capitals and underlining, making his points clear to my mother.
The remark about the quiet faith of my grandmother who had passed away two years earlier. He is reminding my mom of her mother and the example she set for her.

52 Ancestors, Week #1 - Ernest Marvin Yeakley and Nancy Ellen Jones, my grandparents

I have spent years researching my dad's side of the family and while I still have more to learn, it is time to take a different direction and dive into the Yeakley-Jones history. My mom, Ruby Ellen Yeakley, did a lot of the research and it came to me when she passed away. The history goes back to the Mayflower on the Jones side but my grandparents (who were gone long before I was born) have interesting stories to tell.

While I know the Rhea side of my family and the names and faces are familiar, I actually know more about the Yeakley/ Jones family because I grew up knowing my aunts and uncles. However, my grandparents remain in the background waiting to share with me. This is a new adventure.